can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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