Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
