That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
operation harelip BJ is a go
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
