I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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