I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
