Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
