i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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