end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize