I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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