Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
