this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
