Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
