would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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