I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
