Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize