I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
