We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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