she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole