i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?