Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?