I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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