exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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