All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
