So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
