Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
