You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
