remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
