Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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