i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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