I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
