and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
