i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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