OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
