hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
