Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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