I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
