everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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