I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
