I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
