im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
