My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's the barista slut.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You dont lie about slip and slides
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
