I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
