walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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