I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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