Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
