i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
