You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
