No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
