i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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