Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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