you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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