My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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