he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
40s are totally the cure
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
