I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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