went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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