he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize