We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize