I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
