I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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