I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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